Take Care of Yourself, too.
As I was digging through my many "to read" piles, I came across some information from the CAPS, Children of Aging Parents Organization. It was written in 1991 by Donna Baldwin, a caregiver. She has been there and knows from direct experience. Please keep in mind that we are all different and have various needs and issues so choose what will work for you. Of course, we always welcome your ideas and comments.
Tips on Caring for you...The Caregiver.
Reasons why you need to take care of yourself:
1. Your loved one's well-being depends directly on your well-being. Stay healthy and happy.
2. You may feel sad, discouraged, frustrated or trapped.
3. You may be tired and overburdened; you may put aside your own needs for rest, friends, and time alone in order to care for your loved one.
Some things you can do:
1. Arrange for planned time away from 24 hour care. Do some things just for yourself. When you are happy with yourself, your loved one is happier.
2. Talk and share your problems with anyone who will listen. There is a lot of therapy in sharing. Try to speak with a current caregiver.
3. Avoid isolation. This will lead to depression. Invite a neighbor in.
4. Find additional help in caring for your loved ones.
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Home care: Someone to come into your home to help with the care receiver and household chores so you can have a little more time for you.
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Respite care: Find someone to come to your home or look into a group home, assisted living or nursing facility so you can have a few days to vacation. Avoid guilt feelings for a well deserved time away.
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A day program can provide wonderful feelings of self-worth for your loved one and time away for you to run errands not possible when the care receiver is at home.
5. Talk with other families in a support group. (Diane's note: If there is no support group in your area, organize one. It can be as simple as inviting caregivers to a coffee and chat hour).
6. Obtain legal counsel to address financial concerns-general power of attorney, durable power of attorney, guardianship, wills and planning.
7. Visit your doctor regularly. Be prepared with questions. It is important to maintain up-to-date changes regarding your loved one's condition. You may need to consult a neurologist. Also, be assertive in getting the information you need. Ask questions. (Diane's note: Consider writing down what the doctor has said. Sometimes the information may be lengthy and hard to remember later on).
8. Keep a monthly medicine chart recording date and time for various medications.
9. If possible, include your loved one in daily activities, even if all they can do is watch (the mind may just be working).
10. There is a whole new life out there after assuming the role as caregiver. Family is utmost. Do not dwell on situations; make the best of them. It can be done for both you and your loved one. Give this person a chance to reach out in whatever small ways they can. You can have a quality life that is more satisfying and rewarding to both of you. Do not give up. There is more to caregiving than being trapped in the house, being bored, and watching TV. It is very easy to slip into a depressed state. When you give up, all hope is gone. Be positive!
Thanks Donna for sharing your suggestions!
